Back to Fat Loss ...

Despite my generally impulsive/right-brain nature--or perhaps because of it?--when I want to make a significant lifestyle change the actual decision is spur of the moment but I almost always pick some future day to implement the idea. The delay allows my level of commitment to deepen or lessen and allows me to consider possible strategies.

So, about a month ago I decided to "practice maintenance" during the month of April. There were only 2 rules. One rule was to not eat processed foods and the other was to not eat unless I had strong "gut hunger" (as opposed to brain cravings) and then to use a mix of low- and high-density foods to help achieve the "happily stuffed" feeling without actually ingesting too many calories.

At the same time, I also decided I would wage a final campaign of weight loss this year to reach a weight I feel good about and feel I can maintain. I lost 55-65% of my excess fat last spring/summer so my goals are reasonable.

The final piece of my planning a month ago was to create/identify a trigger that would shift me from the relaxed mode to weight-loss. Without a clear trigger, the starting date can become a rolling "tomorrow." After thought, I decided to make the shift the day my winter friends left to return to their home up north.

They're pulling out this Friday so my shift back to weight loss mode is upon me. What, you ask, does that mean?

It's very simple. Between "maintenance" and "weight loss" modes there are only 3 differences: frequency/type of fasting, dairy allowance and fruit allowance.

Frequency/type of fasting: For maintenance, nearly all fasting is IF (intermittent fasting) but for weight-loss I prefer modified ADF (alternate-day fasting.) My modified version is to fast Monday, Wednesday and Friday, eat fairly low-cal on Tuesday and Thursday and as desired (of unprocessed foods) on the weekend. For long term maintenance, next fall/winter I may still use modified ADF about one week every month or 2 to avoid a gradual erosion of appetite control.

Dairy allowance: For maintenance, heavy cream is as desired, divided between coffee and berries/fruit with cream. I make extra-fat home-made yogurt (3 parts whole milk to 1 part heavy cream) and eat 2/3 c yogurt 3 times per week usually with fruit. I occasionally use Kerrygold butter on cooked vegetables but in the summer I go all-raw on veggies (probably with oil and vinegar) and raw or frozen on fruit.

Fruit allowance: For weight loss, I eat no fruit on fasting days, 1 grapefruit on low-cal days and as desired on weekends (more like 3 total servingson average.) My natural preference for long term maintenance is to eat a generous amount of fruit but I rarely approach 50g of fructose daily. Note: I include water kefir in the fruit category as it contains at least a little fructose. I'm currently drinking 1-2 cups at least 3-4 days per week and that will remain stable this spring/summer.

That's it. I don't tend to overeat meat or vegetables so there are never any specific allowances for those. What I've learned in the past year is that my weight is stable or decreases gradually as long as my brain cravings/binge impulses are in good control. I eat about the same whether or not I fasted yesterday, so fasting tends to accelerate weight/fat loss. We'll see what happens now.

Wish me luck!

Breathing, Planning for Weight Loss and Maintenance

I've been mindful of my breathing for the past few days. I'm trying to build a habit of relaxed, nasal, breathing--using my diaphragm, of course.  I had chronic nasal congestion when I ate SAD so I tend to be a mouth-breather. Correct breathing is supposed to be good for your blood pressure. I can't speak to that yet but I swear my fingernails look more pink.

Other than the fascination with breathing, I've thought a lot about my upcoming shift back to a weight-loss mentality as well as my eventual transition to true maintenance--as in, that point at which I decide my body weight is about right. 

Since I'm paying an unnatural amount of attention to my eating habits while pretending I'm NOT obsessed about food, I've noticed my appetite varies a surprising amount from day to day. Yesterday, for example, my food intake started with coffee (cream, honey) as usual. I ate a whole grapefruit in late morning and a while later I had 2/3 c. yogurt with a sliced banana. In the afternoon I ate a can of sardines and some fresh strawberries. And that's it. I had some lamb steaks thawed but never got hungry.

Today, on the other hand, at mid-day I've already had my coffee (cream, honey) and 2/3 c yogurt with a sliced banana and some strawberries plus bacon and 3 eggs. The bacon was ends and pieces, but I'd guess it was the equivalent of 3 full strips of regular-cut bacon. And I think that'll just be the first meal of two: I plan to make a nice leafy salad and eat that lamb. 

Tomorrow it's entirely possible I will have my coffee and call it a day. I've learned I totally thrive on a 3-day cycle of light intake, generous intake and fasting. Don't ask me about the biology behind it, but I am thriving and one or 2 such cycles each week may be my natural form of maintenance.

So here I am. I feel like I'm actually learning a lot during this interval. My weight-loss season will start Monday, Apr30th with a weekly routine of fasting on Mon-Wed-Fri with light intake on Tues-Thu. The weekends will probably follow 2-day cycles of light and generous food. If that feels too punishing I can adjust as needed but I think it will be just right. I'm planning to pick up my exercise level a bit and I'm shooting for an average of about a pound per week for 5-6 months. I won't be using a scale, but about 10 pounds of weight change is around one clothing size. I'm currently 2-3 sizes above my desired ideal.

Training for Maintenance: It's Not Easy

This is the 3rd post in a series about taking a break from active fasting/dieting and just practicing what my daily life would be if food were not the central issue in my life. I still lack confidence about maintaining a good weight because of my history of yo-yo dieting and relapses of binge eating. The kick-off post of this series can be found here and part 2 here.


"I eat merely to put food out of my mind."  N.F. Simpson

While I've been doing well, I suspect maintenance won't be easy for me because I seem hard-wired to obsess about food whether the focus is buying/eating junk or buying/eating healthy or reading non-stop about eating. There aren't that many ex-bingers walking around the US looking lean so I will count my whole-foods journey as a success if I manage to reach/stay at a desirable weight even if I have to struggle with obsession forever.

After two weeks of concerted effort, I MAY have managed not to think too much about food yesterday (yes, I see the irony--it's a joke, okay?)  As far as I know, I didn't plan my eating schedule and I didn't build my main meal around a predetermined ratio of macronutrients. I didn't measure ingredients or count calories. I just pretended it was easy to eat whole foods for fuel and go about my business.

Sure, go ahead and laugh but many of those in the "paleo" or  ancestral eating community DO think hard (and communicate almost endlessly) about eating schedules and macronutrient ratios.  But I don't think naturally lean people do that--I've known some and they've always given me bored looks when I talked about trying to lose weight. Some of those friends ate a lot of junk and ate whenever they wanted to without ever getting into trouble. Damn them.

I've also had some lean friends who knew they needed to be careful in what they ate, and were, but managed to make it look easy. They didn't seem to build their lives around what/when they ate. They tried to shop sensibly and eat sensibly and that was about all the thinking they did about food. Frankly, they are my desired role models although I also want to build my nutrition around whole foods which they didn't/don't worry about.

The rest of my friends have either been failed dieters who were out of control or active dieters who were completely obsessed with their efforts because that's what it took for them to continue dieting. I'm assuming this sounds very familiar--I've been in both groups numerous times and I don't recommend either as a long term role.

For my second week of "training" for maintenance I had 2 rules:

• eat only when hungry    
• eat what I wanted from what was in my kitchen

Yesterday was fairly typical of all the days in the past week. I didn't give food much thought while I sipped my morning mugs of coffee (adulterated as usual with heavy cream and honey) other than to marvel at feeling strong and calm. Right around noon I noticed the first stirrings of true (stomach/gut) hunger and opened the fridge to see what looked good.

I grabbed the package of bacon and saw that the grandkid left me 2 pieces; I also grabbed the egg carton but there were only 3 left so I decided to leave those for him (or me on another day.) I slow-fried the bacon on med-low heat and, while it cooked, peeled and ate a grapefruit. Note: I always cut bacon strips in half for even cooking in the hottest parts of the skillet--plus 4 little pieces somehow seems like more than 2 longer strips.

I removed the bacon when browned and added 4 beef patties (from the package of grassfed ground beef I took out of the freezer yesterday.) I have a small package of little-neck clams in the freezer. I heard them calling, but only faintly, so I opened a can of sardines (in olive oil), sprinkled them with powdered mustard AND a spoonful of the liquid bacon fat from the skillet and sat down to enjoy. Big thumb's up for the bacon/sardines combo.

After happily eating the sardines, I flipped the burgers and chopped up 2 small yellow summer squashes. Actually, the squash was my second choice--I'd lost track of some fresh broccoli and when I grabbed it I realized it was no longer "fresh." After taking out the cooked burgers, I dumped the squash into the skillet for gentle cooking/browning. Two of the burgers went into the fridge and the other 2 were my main meal along with the squash. Yes, I know I ate HALF A POUND of beef plus 2 pieces of bacon. Plus the 3 or so cups of squash. Given my history of spectacular binge eating, why would you consider that noteworthy? I skipped salad, after all, due to lack of desire. For the record, this meal made me feel happily full but not uncomfortably stuffed. For the record.

About an hour after eating that delicious meal I decided my sweet tooth needed a fix. I took a handful each of (frozen, organic) wild blueberries and red raspberries--okay, they were LARGE, carefully balanced, handfuls. I was in the process of making yogurt but didn't have any in the fridge, so I poured on a little heavy cream. I didn't measure the cream but there was none sitting in the bottom of the bowl and only some of the fruit was coated--3 tablespoons? 

Anyhow, I credit my recent frozen-fruit-with-yogurt-or-cream romance with totally distracting my lust for ice cream. On my last shopping trip I cheerfully walked past the ice cream section of the store to find the frozen organic fruit section and it didn't feel like a sacrifice.

For me, eating whole foods--only when I'm hungry--will be a key piece. Stocking my kitchen with whole foods and not worrying constantly about food rotations and ratios--and not boring the world with my epic struggles--may be as close as I can come to experiencing maintenance as an "easy" process. I think I will gain some security if I continue my recent practice of monthly status checks, since I can make small, routine adjustments if/as needed yet monthly frequency will not feed day-to-day obsession in the way NOT checking would.

Part of me now feels energized and confident and ready to tackle the final phase of fat loss, but the rest of me feels the need to continue this rest phase. Right now, I'm basically obsessed about not being obsessed but I seem just a little closer to being ready for maintenance. This coming week may be my last one of practicing for maintenance or I may extend the maneuver for another week. Maybe.

Weekly Update #1: Am I Training for Maintenance or Relapse?

Background: I am taking a break from active fasting/dieting and just practicing what my daily life will/would be if food were not a central issue/factor in my life. I still lack confidence about maintaining a good weight because of my history of yo-yo dieting and relapses of binge eating. The kick-off post of this series can be found here.

This is hard! I'm so deeply locked into fat-loss mode that just relaxing and eating--or not--actually feels dangerous and difficult.  And, since it seems to rattle my comfort zone, pretending to be in maintenance DOES seem to carry some risk but also seems to be a worthwhile experiment.
On most days so far, I haven't been able to just relax and eat as if food isn't a major focus. One day I stayed within weight-loss bounds, just changed my menu sequence, and really felt as if I'd been guilty of a major binge.  My usual routine had been to have yogurt with fruit followed by a meal an hour or 3 later. On the "wild and crazy" day, I started my day with a grapefruit and bacon/eggs and then a few hours later I had some frozen berries/banana with a glaze of heavy cream. No yogurt, one less mug of coffee, no large leafy salad with EVOO/vinegar.
Can you tell I really don't have a clue about succeeding in the world of "maintenance?" 

Perhaps this maintenance window is about giving myself permission to just eat and see what happens, not expecting weight loss but being prepared to change if I experience weight gain. Maybe that's what maintenance is?

In the past week I've had many impulsive moments--not actions, just moments. Some of the impulses have been panic attacks in which I've wanted to return to "dieting" where, for now at least, I feel secure. Other moments have frankly been wild urges to go buy $50 worth of processed junk food and eat it all in binge mode. Still others have been panicky thoughts of fasting to overcome the imagined deviations from my "safe" routine.

Two days ago, I deliberately purchased and ate some ice cream and also ate some potato chips. Not an out-of-control binge, but definitely a departure from whole foods. And there was no extreme reaction--no fast, no reactive binge. Life simply went on. 

Based on that, I am declaring the first week of maintenance testing a partial success. I am not retreating to weight-loss mode just yet, because the fact is I feel safe enough not to. I'm only claiming partial success because of those moments of panic and temptation. I believe it's in my best long-term interest to face my fears and impulses and reinforce the experience that life  simply goes on after an eating incident and it's not a major life-changing event unless you decide it is.

For week #2, my goal is to work on relaxation and focusing on other things. I plan to simply eat--mostly whole foods, but not in a panicked, overly-dependent mode. I am resting from the discipline of my weight loss routine because it has become a little too important. If I succeed and just enjoy my week that will be good. If I don't, the training will continue for at least another week.

Training for Maintenance vs. Weight Regain

Fall and winter are wonderful here in the RV park as I have a number of American and Canadian friends who come down for 5-6 months every year. The cool season is my social time!  It's also the time when I can take long walks outside, which isn't sensible when morning lows are 100 or above.

The weather here is gorgeous right now, with morning temps around 56F and mid-afternoon highs in the 80s. Unfortunately, though, some friends have left already and others are getting ready--the last will leave by May 1st.

The park will be a sleepy little desert village for the summer, which has its own benefits. The warm season is for recharging and serenity. I tend to focus on myself a little more with physical/diet challenges. We have an equipment room and one challenge this summer will be to use the treadmill and cycling machine to reach a higher level of fitness so I can walk longer distances next fall--or at least be up to my 4 mile standard. Last summer, I suffered a lower leg injury that put me out of action for months and it felt like I spent the whole cool season just trying to get back to normal.  Which, thankfully, I did.

I deeply believe there's no one "standard" daily routine that maximizes my health and strength. For me, the long-term goal is to vary my eating from day to day but establish and "set" a desirable weight level. Between now and May 1st I will focus on my friends and attempt to follow a maintenance plan, with an overall goal to have my weight about the same as it is right now.  If I happen to lose a little more or gain a few pounds back I won't call that failure--rather, it will be a typical training result won't it?

I have never been very successful at maintenance--my history being a yo-yo pattern with no stability--so this next month's test of a maintenance lifestyle is as important for me as the past ones in which I gradually or quickly lost fat. After all, if I succeed in dropping another 20-30 pounds this summer I'll be approaching a weight I'd like to keep and maintenance skills will be my primary need. I've already proven at least 4 times that a lack of preparation/training for maintenance produces rapid weight regain.

If something else surfaces I'll blog about it; otherwise, my intent is to post weekly progress updates about my maintenance training results before buckling down in May for a final campaign of fat loss.

How about you? If you're currently in fat-loss mode, do you have a set of maintenance principles and techniques ready to go or are you just hoping for the best? What will YOUR maintenance routine look like?